What we should do is look inwards at the uncertainty, difficulties and challenges in our lives.
Too often we you get caught up in a story about something that happened long ago and to this day when we think about it, it makes us angry and causes us stress.
Our wellbeing is dependant on the state of our mind. We need to look at our mind with curiosity and change habits that lead to suffering.
The way we normally think is the person outside of ourselves or the event out there is the root of my problem. Actually, the way we think about the problem is what causes suffering, emotional pain and dissatisfaction.
We have to stop blaming others for our anger. We have to stop thinking that everything happens to us and that it’s someone else’s fault.
A negative state of mind leads to disturbing emotions such as jealousy, depression and anxiety. They are very uncomfortable feelings and often they become unbearable.
We need to recognise that a negative mindset is destructive. We need to take responsibility for our lives and the state of our mind.
In fact we have to be honest about the current state of our mind and we have to work hard to change it.
We need to learn to reflect and contemplate our life without shame and judgement. Reflection and contemplation are tools necessary for developing ourselves.
With practice, we become conscious that the mind is what controls the physiological. And in the midst of chaos we retain sanity and clarity.
We must be genuinely curious about our mind and how we think, including the habits we have. We need to interact with ourselves without judgment and blame. We need to tame the mind with meditation.
And for most of us, here we are almost half way through our lives, nearly dead and it’s kind of a surprise to start practicing a new habit. There are advantages to learning to change habits. It is just a skill.
When we change the quality of our mind, the world will change with it. We turn the inner experience into the real healing.
What I can say with absolute certainty, is doing this work on myself over the years brings a result. The things that would have made me angry, depressed and crazy literally do not anymore. Not because I’ve repressed it. I have reconfigured the way I interpret things and you can too!
Daniel Troyak is a Mindfulness-based Therapist.
With his support, unpack and unravel the contents of the mind.
Learn the tools for emotional processing and healing so you can live a happy, calm and peaceful life.