Updated: Aug 31


We believe that negative states of mind such as anger, jealousy, frustration, fear, unprocessed feelings and obsessions, just to name a few are normal. As though it’s perfectly ok to hate, but only just a little. Having a touch of fear is ok, to keep us on our toes.

If you were to visit a therapist and ask them to help you develop infinite love, kindness, generosity, endless positivity, they’d think you are insane. A slight exaggeration but you get my point.

In Western psychology it’s widely accepted we have both negative and positive states of mind in equal measure. And psychologists hope we’ll adopt more of the good stuff over the bad stuff.

In Buddhist psychology the qualities of the mind can be perfected. Therefore it’s possible to exist in a happy, calm, peaceful state of mind that’s undisturbed.

Throughout time we have documented people who’ve lived a perfect life. In fact, amongst us now, there are many who exist in a blissful, radiant and positive state of mind. Perhaps you even know some of them.

The mind has infinite potential and the one controlling this potential is you.

When we think about thoughts, they seem to appear out of nowhere. The mind seems to have a mind of its own. It’s as though our thoughts are out of control and for many of us, that is the case. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

We may not to control every single thought but what we can do, is create the conditions for thoughts to be more wholesome and in tune with happiness.

Negative thoughts create more negative thoughts. Positive thoughts create positive thoughts. Sounds simple enough but it takes time to retrain the brain.

We have created addictive, habitual thinking patterns. It might surprise some of you when I say it doesn’t have to be this way.

But first we need to know what is a good thought and what is a corrosive one. Anything that causes suffering or harms us or another is a negative thought.

So how do we change our thinking?

Step one: Pay attention.

You have to be curious about your state of mind and observe it without judgment, shame or fear. Meditation helps us centre. We learn to be with our thoughts instead of being consumed by them. To focus in this way is a skill, allowing yourself to become a nonjudgmental witness of your thoughts.

For too long we’ve been ruled by negativity that serves only suffering. We have to have the courage and determination to say no more!

Meditation is not our saviour, meditation is our stabiliser. We own our emotions and our thoughts, therefore we are the liberators of our mind.

Step two: Change your thinking patterns using the right tools.

When we see a negative thought we have to replace it with a more appropriate and positive one. At first this seems rather artificial but with time it becomes a habit. Should that method fail, ask yourself where do these negative thoughts take me? What is the end result of thinking this way. The answer of course; anxiety, stress, depression and mental suffering. As the saying goes, you are what you think!

Step three: Try harder

We can’t underestimate the residue of bad habits on the mind-stream. Contemplation is a powerful tool. We contemplate the nature of thoughts and how they never really remain the same. Thoughts come and go. They are transient. Contemplating this will help ease the tension surrounding them. Everything that rises, must fall. This too shall pass!

Step four: Support

We are not an island. As social beings we need each other for support. Make sure you have a wonderful therapist who can help you on the path to happiness.

My friends often tell me they are starved of conversation. They want to speak to a compassionate, understanding person with an open heart, confidentially and in a safe space. Be open, honest and transparent, invite your therapist to be with you on your journey of emotional and mental processing.

Daniel Troyak is a Mindfulness-based Therapy.

With his support, unpack and unravel the contents of the mind.

Learn the tools for emotional processing and healing so you can live a happy, calm and peaceful life.

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