Updated: Jan 25
Living with fear and worry seems to be part of being human. We worry because we have different responsibilities and obligations in life. Human existence is full of worries and fears that lurk in the dark corners of our minds.
There are many different forms, such as worrying about our looks, age, balding, wrinkles, and money. Then there is the fear of being criticised and judged for the things we worry so much about. In fact, the list of worries we face is endless.
It is important to know what concerns us. When envy, hatred, and fear become a habit, they can cause real illness. Science has proven this.
Just as worry can harm us so much, fear also harms ourselves and others. Fear gradually undermines life and undermines our mental clarity.
Why are we doing it?
We all want happiness and seek it in all possible ways. If we don't get what we want or if life doesn't give us what we ask for, we worry that we will never be happy. Fear sets in when we start to believe this story. If my unhappiness becomes permanent and solid and I will never escape it. This way of thinking is enough to scare anyone.
We don't realise the beauty of life, which requires serious consideration. Nothing is permanent and nothing is fixed.
As Buddhist scholar Shantideva once said, a difficult situation can be handled in two ways: if we can do something to change it, we change it. If there really is nothing we can do, we relax. Things don't get better with anger and worry.
We should understand that there is a way out of the suffering and problems we face. None of us are hopelessly doomed to eternal misery unless we make it that way.
When faced with problems, we should not be discouraged, but rather act wisely to overcome them. We need to remember that there will always be barriers to success in this life. Nobody escapes this truth.
For example, if something unpleasant happens, our favourite thing or possession is accidentally broken, there are two ways to deal with this. We can either choose to torture ourselves by blaming ourselves or others, or we can pass it off by saying, that thing is gone. It's bad enough that we lost it, but why let it lead us to unhappiness and depression? It would make more sense to trace the cause of the damage and avoid it ever happening again.
All negative thoughts can be uprooted through meditation in order to stabilise our mind and emotions. After we have stabilised, we need reflect on what is happening to us.
The destructive mental forces and emotions must be controlled and reduced to a manageable level. All of our problems depend on how well we deal with them, so we should steer towards harmony and peace. Hence, relaxation is necessary in order to solve our problems.
Daniel Troyak is a Mindfulness-based Therapist.
With his support, unpack and unravel the contents of the mind.
Learn the tools for emotional processing and healing so you can live a happy, calm and peaceful life.