Updated: Aug 30


We should know when our emotions have had enough.

Too often we find ourselves in situations where emotions are off the scale and we say and do things we later regret. We should have a clearly defined line in the sand. And the person to never cross that line is you.

If you are in the presence of someone who you find annoying and the annoyance is too much – if you find the person so repulsive that you cannot be in their presence, it might be better to exit.

It takes courage to look at yourself, and to form a habit of assessing your emotional state and then taking responsibility for it.

You should know yourself.

We expect and demand that everyone will make us happy. And when they don’t, our emotions go into overdrive and we behave badly.

Managing emotions by knowing what triggers you is important. If you are set off by loud noises, it makes no sense to sit by a highway. Doing so harms your wellbeing and happiness. Knowing yourself means you avoid the stuff you can’t handle and then reflect on why it triggers you so much.

Imagine if we use that approach in our relationships!

To be happy the important thing is to try to promote the positive and useful aspects in each of us and to try to reduce the negative. Positive acts always bring us inner strength.

We need to reinterpret the way we look at the world and this includes the people who trigger us. The way we do this is to see every person that is an obstacle to our happiness as our teacher. By now you are scratching your head, but read on…

When someone triggers emotions that you can’t stand you should first remember, that person is teaching me something about myself. Something I didn’t know, something I may not want to know and probably something I don’t want to experience.

Seeing everyone as our teacher doesn’t mean we subject ourselves to suffering, instead we recognise when to exit before it becomes unbearable. Only then can we reflect on what just happened and try to make sense of it.

We are emotional beings and we feel stuff. Emotions are an indicator and not a dictator. Emotions point to something that is unresolved and something that requires more attention. No one likes horrible feelings, so investigating them means we can let them go of them.

Obstacles should be seen as a valuable opportunity to improve our mind. It's an opportunity to deepen our understanding of ourselves. With triggered experiences, we can strive to gradually become more aware; that is, we can develop genuine self-awareness and the awareness of others. As a result, our serenity and inner strength increases.

If we have the bold heartedness to transform everything in our life as the teacher, our life becomes the teaching, resulting in lasting happiness.

Daniel Troyak is a Mindfulness-based Therapist.

With his support, unpack and unravel the contents of the mind.

Learn the tools for emotional processing and healing so you can live a happy, calm and peaceful life.

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